Stop Pretending You’re Fine: What Happens When You Finally Tell Yourself the Truth
Have you ever answered with “I’m fine”—when deep down, you know you’re anything but?
Something is off. You can feel it in your bones.
My little family has been through a lot over the past decade. Loss after loss, with barely a moment to come up for air. And each time something new hit, I did what I always do—what many of us do. I put my head down and pushed through.
I’d say things like:
We’ll be okay.
We’ll figure it out.
We’ll do what needs to be done.
And we did.
But about a year ago, while dropping my stepdaughter off at college, I noticed something new.
You might expect that moment to be full of tears, hugs, bittersweet emotion. And for my husband and stepdaughter—it was. I watched them cry and hold each other tight.
And I felt… nothing.
After a decade of getting it all done, I had gone numb.
Have you ever been in a moment where everyone around you is reacting in emotionally appropriate ways—and you smile and pretend, but feel completely hollow? You glance around, wondering how everyone else seems so present, so connected. Meanwhile, a quiet voice inside you whispers:
“Why don’t I feel like I’m really here?”
The Pressure to Look Fine (Even When You’re Not)
From the outside, your life checks all the boxes. You’ve worked hard. You’re doing what you’re “supposed” to do. There’s a roof over your head, food on the table, maybe even people who love you.
So why does it still feel like something’s missing?
We live in a culture that rewards appearing fine. We’re encouraged to keep it together, stay grateful, and push through. Especially as women, we’re conditioned to maintain the illusion of being okay—for everyone else’s comfort.
We wear smiles like armor. We say “I’m good!” when our insides are unraveling. We become masters of performing the “I’m fine”.
The Lies We Tell Ourselves to Stay Comfortable
It’s not just the outside world that tells us to carry on. We tell it to ourselves, too.
“I should be happy. I have nothing to complain about.”
“Other people have it worse. Who am I to feel like this?”
“#Adulting. You’re not supposed to feel alive as an adult.”
These inner monologues sound logical—but they’re really just gaslighting. They keep us quiet, small, and disconnected from the truth within.
Pretending Delays the Joy You Actually Want
Here’s the thing: pretending doesn’t protect you—it prevents you.
Every time you deny the subtle ache inside, you move further away from your joy.
Real joy isn’t about performance. It’s not forced smiles or checking boxes. It’s the quiet contentment that comes from living in alignment with your truth.
And you can’t access that kind of joy without honesty.
The Bravery of Saying, “I’m Not Okay”
You don’t have to fall apart to make a change. You just have to tell the truth.
Acknowledging that something feels off—even when life looks good on paper—isn’t failure. It’s the first step toward freedom.
When you finally say it out loud, or even whisper it to yourself, something shifts. The tension in your shoulders softens. Your breath deepens. Your soul exhales.
Wanting More Doesn’t Make You Ungrateful
Let’s clear something up: admitting that life isn’t working doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful.
It means you’re awake.
It means you’re paying attention.
It means your soul is ready to grow.
💜 Ready to Stop Pretending?
You don’t have to figure it all out right now. You don’t have to make any huge decisions today.
You just have to start being honest—with yourself.
Grab my free “Awaken Your Inner Joy” guided journal experience for a gentle space to do exactly that.
No judgment. No pressure. Just a quiet invitation to name what’s not working… and begin rediscovering what lights you up from the inside out.
You’re not alone. And you’re not too late.
There’s joy waiting for you on the other side of truth.
